Friday, October 17, 2008

.....you are my sunshine, my only sunshine....

So I have been a little slack this last week on posting pictures even though I have a few to put up. But life has been anything BUT normal. My grandma was in the hospital over the weekend and we were thankful that she was stable enough to go home on Monday afternoon. The Dr's told her nicely that she is getting older and her heart is not working like it used to meaning she is going to have to slow down a bit(my grandma lives alone and is able to care for herself still including driving!!! She loves visitors but loves her independence!!). But don't worry the minute she let herself out of the car she darted for the front door, in through the kitchen, out to the garage where she took the trash can out to the road before I could say STOP IT!!!! I got her settled on the couch and made her promise she would rest. She visited with a few people from her church that afternoon, my sister dropped off a prescription that the Dr had given her and stayed with her for a little bit, and to end the evening my mom (who had been in DC for a week long conference and just flown in that evening) had stopped in to visit until about midnight. I went back to work the next day, mom talked to grandma Tuesday morning about 9 to find that she had already been out to water her flowers and had just finished breakfast. My mom told her she would be there is soon and grandma was just going to get herself cleaned up and dressed for the day. About 10:50 my sister and I tried to reach grandma at her house to check up on her but she wasn't answering which is very unlike her because she loves to visit with anyone who calls! (my grandma's sister had been trying to reach her, couldn't and called my sister to see why she wasn't answering which is what initially prompted us to start calling grandma) So then I called my mom to find that she was just about at grandma's house and Kristi and I were relieved. Not 10 minutes went by and I got a phone call from Kristi crying and panicky stating that mom had just gotten to grandma's where she found her on the floor and thought she was dead. My mom found her in the kitchen floor with her forehead slightly under the refrigerator doors and her leg bent up under her bottom (mind you she is 78 and not the most flexible lady). She was freezing cold, her eyes were wide open, her color was not good, and she was not moving a muscle. Mom obviously was crying and very upset and grandma then mumbled something about "I'm not going that easy"....meaning she was not dead. So 911 was called and they rushed her to Memorial. We found out that she had a stroke and it was not treatable. There is a type of stroke that can be treated. The tricky part to grandma is that she takes coumadin to keep her blood thin and so they have to be careful in treating this clot. So from the ER she was taken to the ICU where she spent 2 nights and now today she is on a telemetry floor. A Dr explained to us 2 days ago that a stroke is like looking into a black box. Meaning we have no idea what will get better, worse, or no changes from here. It's just a waiting game. Her right side moves pretty good but left side is pretty minimal to no movement at all. She is able to talk ok minus slurred speech. She has a really hard time opening her eyes and with opening them she appears to have a blank stare although she can see a little. Also she is still not eating/drinking anything and possibly will need a feeding tube. So if nothing improves from here she will require 100% care. We are really asking everyone to pray for her. No one wants bad quality of life but there seems to be people who are better able to cope with this than others. My grandparents are NOT those people. My grandma is not going to do well with depending on others for just her basic needs much less all other things. Please do not get me wrong, we are not praying for her to die but God is the ultimate healer and decision maker and he knows what she needs and can handle. We just are praying so hard for his will to be done in her life. Please pray for my mom too as obviously this will be a huge change for her. She is going to have to move in with gram and change just plain stinks sometimes. So for now, we have quickly realized again that life can (and did) change in a moment. This is by far not the end of the world but it is very sad and overwhelming. When I left her Monday we (gram and me) had been singing with my girls "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you! Please don't take my sunshine away"! My grandma used to sing this to us when we were little. My grandparents are a HUGE part of my life, of who I am....almost 2nd parents to me and it was life shattering when my grandpa died 2 years ago as I felt like my dad had died. I think up until my grandpa died I just subconsciously thought they would always be with us. They have had such huge hard times (which includes my mom) in their lives, 2 of the biggest are having to experience loosing their son at age 7 to a drowning accident and then loosing their daughter and son-in-law to a car accident while my mom was pregnant with us.  So I just selfishly always assumed that God would not let them suffer.....just take them quickly with no pain and misery. Now to see my grandma this way is all over again hard. I go to bed feeling like I want to vomit and wake up feeling the same. She was ok just 4 days ago. Thanks for praying and caring......

3 comments:

The Hadfields said...

Oh Kera, I am SO sorry. I will pray that God keeps her comfortable and gives you patience and strength to get through this difficult time. Please keep us all updated. Love you!!

The Hadfields said...

PS: My dad always sang "you are my sunshine with me" when I was little, so that song is special to me too!!

The Hadfields said...

By the way, if you get time...
Tag- you're it! Check my blog for details! Hope you're having a good day! ~Amy